‘Dear Hodges’ Broken Heart Surgeon
‘DEAR HODGES’ HAS RETURNED TO SURGICALLY REPAIR BROKEN HEARTS, by Wayne Hodges
SHAWNEE MISSION, Kan – Experiencing some problems in the bedroom? Does your spouse or significant other spend the majority of late night hours complaining about your sexual performance? Has your romantic fire been doused with a dripping wet towel of sexual dysfunction? If so, say no more. The ‘Broken Heart Surgeon’ is here to help spark your midnight flame.
Actually, only God above has all the answers. However, if you’re lookin’ for a local slant, this is certainly the right place. Unfortunately, as the Summer heats up, more online cases of heartache flu and relationship fever have resurfaced. But, there’s no need to fear. I’ll just grab my stethoscope, prescription booklet, and first aid kit as we get down to the love resuscitation business.
Lady GaGa rocks the joint with her smash single “Just Dance”
JUST DANCE: “Dear Hodges, I met this great guy 2 months ago, and I really like him. But, he likes to go to clubs every single weekend. I met him at a bar, so I know what goes on there. And since we hooked up there, I would probably be out of line to tell him to stop going. I don’t want to spoil his fun. I would just like to see him stay home a little more on Friday and Saturday nights. Am I being to demanding? Sincerely, ‘Christina Homemaker’ from Kansas City.”
HODGES: The rules of love, as it pertains to the club scene, are such: once a potential mate or partner has been identified, the club hoppin’ must stop, and dating/courtship must begin. The problem with this unwritten law is not everyone respects it. Catch my drift? In other words, this topic should headline all initial dialogue between you and the partying individual. In some instances, however, the rule is not necessary. For example, if someone is willing to give out his or her phone number during the first 30 seconds of a conversation, the chances of starting and maintaining a special relationship are probably slim to none. What’s the prescription? Reveal your expectations for the relationship. If he values your company, a compromise should soon follow.
Milli Vanilli won fans over with “Girl you know it’s true”
GIRL, YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE: “Dear Hodges, my boyfriend of 6 months told me ‘I love you’ for the first time. His words were sincere, but I’ve been hurt before and want to be careful before giving my heart out to someone else. How would I know if he’s telling the truth? Sincerely, ‘Lock n’ Key’ from Kansas City.”
HODGES: ‘Lock n’ Key,’ the phrase “I love you” can be interpreted in so many different ways; and the meaning is usually contingent upon a variety of circumstances. For instance, take into consideration your economic status. Are you the bread-winner in the relationship? Will you be primarily responsible for providing food, lights and shelter? Has he become dependent upon your income and earnings? If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, look out. Your “knight in shining armor” could have an ulterior motive. Otherwise, you may want to give the young fella a chance. Hey, this may sound corny, but, men need love too.
Gwendolyn Stefani reminds us that she “Aint no Hollaback Girl”
I AIN’T NO HOLLABACK GIRL: “Dear Hodges, I’m a 25-year-old single mother of one beautiful daughter. And I started dating this guy 2 months ago and he already wants to introduce me to his family. He even told his mother, and some of his friends, that we are together. Now, I’m beginning to feel these rumors are spinning out of control. I must admit: he buys me nice things and gives me money when I’m a little low. But I’m just not attracted to him in that way. Besides, everything just seems rushed. What do you think? Sincerely, ‘Takin it Slow’ from Bonner Springs.”
HODGES: ‘Takin it Slow,’ your alias should probably be changed to ‘Takin your Money.’ Seriously, I don’t get it. Why accept cash and gifts from somebody you’re not interested in? It’s obvious he’s really into you. And you made it crystal clear you’re not feelin’ the same way. So, with that being the case, it would certainly be wise to avoid meeting any of his family. And, to be frank, you should seriously consider breaking things off with ‘ole boy before he gets too emotionally involved; if he hasn’t already. Come on…didn’t you see Beyonce’s film “Obsessed?”
All jokes aside, this situation has the potential to become very dangerous. And, with a child in the home, you can ill afford to bring any bad drama into your life. What’s the prescription? Sit him down and explain your true feelings. But, whatever you do, don’t lead him on any further. Hey, one time I gave a stray cat some food and, wouldn’t you know it, the furry rascal refused to leave my porch. Let’s just hope for your sake the “Big Cat” leaves and doesn’t come back.
Sade delivered the classic romantic single “Kiss of Life”
KISS OF LIFE: “Dear Hodges, I’ve been dating this beautiful woman for 2 months now, and I still haven’t received a kiss. She even gets uncomfortable when I touch her. She doesn’t practice casual sex, and I respect that. But I should still be good for at least one kiss. What do you think? Sincerely, ‘Stuck on first base’ from Shawnee Mission.”
HODGES: Hmm…actually, first base seems a little generous. Sounds like you’re stuck at home plate with no balls, two strikes, and Zack Greinke is the pitcher. Here’s what I love most about women in general: they reveal their intentions up front. And your girlfriend is no exception. She has made it known from the get-go casual sex is not an option. Now, you have to decide if her preferences are good enough for you. After all, it’s not fair to expect her to change.
To be honest, I don’t see the logic in your complaint. The young lady obviously has her priorities straight, so it would probably be in your best interest to stick with her. What’s the prescription? Take a moment to redefine your own moral values. If sexual frustration and lack of affection becomes too much to bear, it might be time to pack your bags and move on.
Well, that concludes my work for today. If you’re in need of the best relationship advice money can’t buy; please email all questions and concerns and I’ll gladly schedule your appointment. Remember, the rate hasn’t changed. Counseling is free of charge to all “Mass Appeal” readers.
Wayne Hodges, an MBA from St. Mary University, is the Editor-in-Chief of “Mass Appeal News.” He is also a candidate for Kansas Senate District #7, an adjunct professor, and MPA at the University of Kansas. Wayne welcomes your comments at whodges@massappealnews.com
To see Lady GaGa’s “Just Dance” video, click the play arrow .
April 17th, 2009 at 6:43 am
‘Stuck on first base’ sounds like your woman is set in her values. But she may not be into you on a romantic level, so be careful.
April 17th, 2009 at 6:20 pm
‘Lock n key’ you’re smart for protecting your feelings. Some men say “I love you” and rarely mean it. Make him earn it. And don’t give away anything he doesn’t deserve.
April 19th, 2009 at 11:58 am
See, I don’t understand. Women are always talkin’ about how we don’t express our feelings enough and as soon as a man opens up; women question it. Yow need to make up your mind, and let us know what you want.
April 19th, 2009 at 12:00 pm
What’s that old saying? “Men are from Mars, & Women are from Venus.”
April 22nd, 2009 at 6:38 am
If you got a good girl, better keep her. It beats the alternative.
April 25th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
‘Lock n Key’ be careful honey. Some men try to manipulate the system to get what they want. If a man wants pampering, he should live with his mother.
April 29th, 2009 at 12:57 am
Sexual frustration? He better be glad he has a good woman on his arm and quit complaining. What does he want? A tramp?
April 30th, 2009 at 6:54 am
You can’t tell every girl you love ‘em. Better choose your words more carefully. I wouldn’t say those three words unless I was ready to go all the way. Better check yo self befo you wreck yo self.
May 5th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
LOCK-KEY – Take your time and stop focusing so much on the words that he says, but focus on all of his ways. Men’s love comes across different than ours. Remember, your heart is already on overload as it beats about 72 beats a minute. A broken heart will damage some of the healthy parts so take care of that very vital organ! It is all in how you feel. If you want to jump in head first, do it. I would play it safe because most people misuse the word love.
Mr. Ruthless Lover – I understand what you are saying, but you know most brotha’s play too much with our hearts. Hell, most men love on what they can get out of the relationship and it works well if the woman has a low self esteem. You know our minds are made up and we know what we want: MEN TO BE HONEST AND KEEP IT REAL. Some men don’t love themselves so how can they love a woman?
WELL, “STUCK ON FIRST BASE” – Relax and give it some time. You don’t know what she’s been through. Some women have been hurt in the past and choose not to jump so fast into feeling and touching each other. Some women have been raped or molested so they have to have a protection shield up. Also, some women just want to take their time to understand what you know and not how you flow. Keep it one hundred and learn what makes her happy and what makes her tick. Trust me you will have plenty of time to hold, kiss, touch, and feel.
Chris – You are crazy but all so real. It’s good to let men know that patience beats the alternatives.
Erica – To be honest, most of them do live with their mother. Some women are our men’s downfall. We can be someone’s mother or girlfriend, but we make men worthless. We try to save them but end up being a crutch that will not allow them to be the man they should be. A 40 year old man was in my church trying to talk to me. I got tired of telling him I have a man and listening to the friend game. Finally I started asking him some simple questions like where he works. He told me that he was taking care of his mother at her home. When I finally peeped out his mother, she didn’t look handicapped or ill. Don’t get me wrong, he looks good and stays clean. He told me that his baby’s mother buys his clothes and takes care of his hair. I was still confused because she should be taking care of the children and not pampering that 40 year old baby.
Kimberly –You know that we have plenty of tramps making us good women look bad. Oftentimes men feel that all women want is to sex them up in order to keep them. It is good to see that some of us still have morals and values..
Kingpin – You are so right! The words “I Love You” are not supposed to be a casual word. It should be used to express how a person truly feels for another person. Stay true and keep on loving.
May 8th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
‘Stuck on first base’ you should try to be a little more patient. I just started dating after a 4 year relationship and I haven’t allowed anyone to make a move on me either. I will give my love when the time is right. Sounds like she’s doing the same thing.
May 10th, 2009 at 8:55 am
‘Takin it slow’ don’t take any more cash from him. Some men believe when they give you something you belong to them. If you don’t want to be with him do the right thing and let him go. It’s not worth it.
May 19th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Hollaback girl, why you feel the need to use somebody? If you don’t want the man quit takin his assets. Women are always talking about they want a good man, yet the man is spending his time and money on you, and it still ain’t good enough. Ladies are too damn complicated today.
June 6th, 2009 at 9:58 am
Christina Homemaker, if past experiences are an indication, I would never seriously date a man i met in a club. He probably received 10 additional phone numbers on the same night he met you. Rarely do you meet anybody worth dating at a bar.
June 6th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
Single women, I love it when you call me big poppa!
June 9th, 2009 at 5:46 pm
You guys need to start a dating service on this website…I bet it works
June 13th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Nice site…I plan to check back soon.
June 14th, 2009 at 10:18 am
I let the ladies know up front if they gone be with me, they have to accept my club-hoppin. Its a package deal…either take it or leave it.
June 21st, 2009 at 9:25 am
Cypher, that’s why you will always be single…
January 21st, 2010 at 7:53 pm
i wouldnt stay wit no woman that aint givin out no kiss. think about it homeboy. what could one damn kiss hurt??? she aint feelin you dog. thats all it iz. kick her to da curb and find yourself a woman thats down.
January 23rd, 2010 at 12:29 pm
wayne you know you need to quit…you are hilarious!
January 26th, 2010 at 11:45 pm
if a man wants to club-hop he needs to be single. people in relationships should respect each other and spend quality time together. going out to a club every weekend is very disrespectful to your mate. it also means you are looking for something.
January 28th, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Diddo…
January 29th, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Hodge Congrats! on the blog. just wanna say you got some fine honies as writers. dana, soul sis, JJ, stacey are all hot. you will get alot of readers. dude gotta give ya props…
January 29th, 2010 at 2:45 pm
Love doctor do you make housecalls??? i have a slight case of relationship fever. LOL