Dating Multiple People Pt. 2
Dana Carroll, Sex & Relationships
DATING MULTIPLE PEOPLE HAS ITS REWARDS & CONSEQUENCES, by Dana Carroll
KANSAS CITY – Women are undoubtedly more docile, giving and sacrificing than men in general. But there are men that find themselves giving all they have to a woman that just takes and takes and takes. It’s a hard thing to understand but most people are looking out for themselves. A friend said that he doesn’t talk to a lot of women because he is greedy. He does it because he wants to see what’s out there. There is nothing wrong with his approach to dating but it is selfish. He is making sure that he has options, while the women he is dating are all probably hoping for the same thing, to end up with him.
There is no difference in what he is doing from what the tv shows, The Bachelor, For the Love of Ray J or A Real Chance at Love are doing. TV and society have given men this power to choose. The women on these shows feel like they have no control all they want to do is be chosen. It’s a mess. But it’s not just men, its women too that think they should have an entire flock of men to pick and choose from. When did polygamy become the norm?
There’s nothing wrong with dating multiple people
Dating multiple people is something you do until you find someone you have a connection with. It helps you not focus too much on one person. However after you have found a connection, it is time to let your bench warmers go. But most people keep their options open out of selfishness and lack of concern for others. The situation becomes even more complicated once sex enters the equation.
Is it possible to develop genuine feelings for someone while you are getting to know several other potential romantic partners? It’s like trying to have three or four full time jobs. Sure you can do it but how much effort are you putting in to each job? Probably just enough to get your paycheck. Trying to decide if the person you are dating is marriage potential should be taken very seriously. It’s not something you should do if you have several other distractions. You owe it to yourself and the person or persons you are seeing to give each of them a fair chance.
Where are the best places in Kansas City to take someone you are trying to get to know? Jazz clubs offer the laid back atmosphere perfect for stimulating conversation. A lot can be said about two people’s chemistry and ability to communicate openly. Chemistry is the feeling you can’t explain but you know when you have it and you know when you don’t. You know when it’s forced or when it’s natural. Check out Kansas City’s infamous Jazz District at 18th and Vine.
Dana Carroll, the Kansas City Sex and Relationships Examiner, is the “Real Love” columnist for Mass Appeal News. She is also an actress and model. View this article, and others, on the Examiner by clicking here. Dana welcomes your comments at dcarroll@massappealnews.com. For a peek at her movie clips, click here.
To see Jay Z’s “Girls, Girls, Girls” video, click the play arrow.
January 29th, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Excellent article Dana! I never limit myself to dating one guy. When i settle down, it will be with the right person. Right now I love being free and single. I can date who i want when i want. A relationship would be too much for me right now.
January 29th, 2010 at 2:31 pm
dana now you talkin my language. i think obama should make a law that states everybody date multiple lovers. one love is too boring. everybody i know that iz married iz miserable az hell. married people like to front like they are happy but deep down they are bored and miserable. dating is the way to go. i got a different chickenhead for each day off da week. me and settlin down iz like oil and water. we dont mix.
January 29th, 2010 at 2:47 pm
Dating other people is ok as long as there is no sex involved. Sleeping around is just nasty.
January 29th, 2010 at 5:28 pm
sweet baby D, lets go on a date. i got some cash and Im rollin 22’s
February 1st, 2010 at 3:29 am
for men lookin to have a good time come see me and my sexy friends at http://gstringdivas.com/
February 1st, 2010 at 6:40 pm
I believe in dating lots of people but i can never find any ladies who are down wit OPP. i want a menage a trois but cant get lucky. where are all the freaky ladies at???
February 4th, 2010 at 6:36 pm
Dating is just so dangerous today. I want to date more but there are some scary people out there.
February 8th, 2010 at 2:13 am
just want to say nice blog…i really enjoy your work…bookmarked
February 26th, 2010 at 12:16 pm
Hello everyone,
Lil Miss Promiscuous- I understand what you mean. I have a lover, a hang out friend, and a good listener. I realize I had to put a few men together to make one. They all know each other because we play spades and hang out together. When they see my lovers car, most of the time they dont stop. They will call and I let them know they will come by on another day. It is a respect thing because I know they are good men and I will cheat on them if we were in a relationship because they dont have what I am looking for. This is the reason stupid men feel they need a variety. Most of them are sorry in the main spot and have to keep moving to feel cool or make up for their mishaps. Keep it real and honest.
The Mac: I think it is not having one person is boring, you just don’t know how to keep their interest. You as a man cant keep up with one woman let along many. This is why GOD told you to make it happen with one woman. Men like you are the reason you stay by yourself and lonely. I was married for 14years and my man was very happy in bed. I divorced him because he doing too many drugs. Now he got his life together, he want to get back married but it is too late. People in your circle are miserable. To be frank, unmarried, bed jumping fools are unhappy or johnsonless. Oh about calling women chickenheads, you must be young and motherless. If they are chickenheads than you must be the duck. Get yourself together and man up to the real world. I feel you watch too many rappers and too many videos. If you was a man you would get one of your chickenheads and show her what you like and how to satisfy you. Trust me, you dont need all those chemicals mixing in bed. Have you ever heard of AIDS, maybe not because you was too busy jumping into warm heated bacteria. Love you but get it together brotha.
White Chic : Yes it is nasty and they are nasty but it take women to let them do that.
Ruthless Lover: We are not material women anymore, most of us dont care if you was sitting on some 32’s. What about your actions in how to treat a woman? Most men with cash is very selfish in give out their love. They usually have a better relaionships with dead presidents then loving a real woman. Do you have your own place and a real job???
Ruthless Lover: I feel there are plenty of women that will except men dating lots of women but we are not going to let you put all those germs in us. Dating without sex is the best way Mr. Ruthless!!
I’m glad we can have these little talks because our people and relationships are going to the dogs.
Lady Lynette
Cinnabun5712: You are the one in control. I keep a spray bottle of bleach, a pistol, and a knife with me at all times on a date. God give us common sense and a cautious mind. Your heart will tell you when to go or fold. Dont be scare to date, keep your ears open and eyes WIDE open. You might be missing out on the real one.
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:23 pm
lady lynette u talk a good game but if u wuz one of my freaks i bet thangs wood b different. if i am so sorry why do the honeys line up 2 get wit a playa??? dont hate da playa hate da game
March 3rd, 2010 at 12:01 am
dana dana dana…you make a brotha wanna leave his woman
F.Y.I. YOU FINE AS HELL
March 3rd, 2010 at 1:52 am
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March 4th, 2010 at 12:11 pm
bookmarked your site…
April 8th, 2010 at 9:57 am
Hey everyone and especially The Mac ,
First I want to tell you I never hate the player or the game. If you was so good why do you need so many? They must not feel the same way you do. Oh but dont worry you have REAL woman that can teach a old dawg new tricks. You are the one talking a good game, I can back mines up. Second of all, some freaks are just stuck on stupid. How old are you anyways because I would check you on my own time. Sorry you dont know how to roll with a real ladies but I guess its time to talk you to school.
Watch for what you ask for because you might just get it!!
Stop playing because I keep mines 100!!
Lady Dana I was going to let you ready my new book but my local POST OFFICE stole them. Im waiting to hear what they came up with. It was the Domestic Violence book called, “A Nightmare on 32nd Street”. I might put my poem on here the next time.
Thanks and keep up the good work beause we have work to do with these new day men.
Lady Lynette