‘Dear Hodges’ Broken Heart Surgeon
‘DEAR HODGES’ HAS RETURNED TO SURGICALLY REPAIR BROKEN HEARTS, by Wayne Hodges
SHAWNEE MISSION, Kan – With the Summer in full effect, some lovebirds will probably spend their weekends shopping for picnic tables and barbecue grills. However, for some couples the exact opposite may be true. Instead of shopping for picnic tables, some couples will throw lawn chairs at each other. And the joyful sound of “I love you” will be replaced with piercing screams of “you suck!” When simple disagreements dissolve into profanity-laced “You make me sick” type blowouts, who you gonna call? Love Doctor!
That’s right ladies & gentlemen. The ‘Broken Heart Surgeon’ is here, and at your service. Actually, only God above has all the answers. However, if you’re lookin’ for a local slant, this is certainly the place to be. Unfortunately, as the Summer heats up, more online cases of heartache flu and relationship fever have resurfaced. But, that’s OK. I’ll just grab my stethoscope, prescription booklet and first aid kit as we get down to the love resuscitation business.
Jazmine Sullivan gets revenge in the song “Bust your windows”
BUST YOUR WINDOWS: “Dear Hodges, I caught my boyfriend cheating a few days ago and I’m pissed. I’m thinking about busting the windows out of his new Lexus SUV. I don’t care if I get in trouble. I gave him two years of my life and he made me look like a fool. Besides, he’s probably riding around with his new girlfriend so it will probably serve him right. Can you give me a male perspective? Sincerely, ‘Diva on a Mission’ from Lees Summit.”
HODGES: ‘Diva on a Mission,’ I speak for all men when I say “please don’t harm our vehicles.” Ever heard the old saying “a dog is man’s best friend?” Well, that phrase should be changed to “a Lexus is man’s best friend.” Besides, what did that poor car do to you? Look, I understand how angry you must feel. Two years is certainly an investment worthy of a lofty return. That said, criminal damage to property could land you in jail without no bail. And, if he suffers a stroke as a result of pain and suffering, you could be charged with battery. What’s the prescription? Move on peacefully because you’re clearly better off without him. But, whatever you do, please…please…please don’t harm the ride. That Lexus has feelings too, you know.
Drake throws down in the popular single “Successful”
I JUST WANNA BE SUCCESSFUL: “Hodge, check this out. I’ve been dating this fine young woman for 5 months now. And I love everything about her except for one thing. She gets mad when I spend a lot of time in the studio. I’m pursuing a career in music and I was hoping she would be more supportive. But lately she’s been the exact opposite. What can I do to get her to see the light? ‘Star in da Makin’ from Kansas City.”
HODGES: Hey, there’s nothing wrong with chasing dreams as long as the goals are attainable. Also, try to lock down some form of steady income while pursuing stardom; especially in this dreary economy. If I were you, I’d be a little concerned. Most women support their lovers when profitable goals are reachable. In other words, does she believe you’re talented enough to reach the top? If so, why the lack of support? These questions deserve immediate answers. What’s the prescription? Serenade her during a nice little romantic dinner for two. If you’re as good as you say you are, your work is done. Otherwise, it may be time to start posting your resume in career builder. Remember, romance and finance are synonymous. Don’t lose sight of that.
Common delivers “Universal Mind Control” in his lyrics
UNIVERSAL MIND CONTROL: “Dear Hodges, I just wanted to say I really appreciate your blog. Your articles are colorful, fun, insightful and straight to the point. You all have done an excellent job of giving us a variety of interesting topics to read. And I love how you’ve smashed the racial barrier. I found your website on ‘Google’ a few weeks ago and have been reading ever since. I live on Tabacco Road and all my friends and family in North Carolina love you. Keep up the good work! And keep on writing! Sincerely, Jennifer6 from Carolina.”
HODGES: Jennifer, thanks for the incredible words of encouragement. I’ve received some great responses in the past, but nothing quite as compassionate and heart-felt as this one. Please understand I take complete satisfaction in your reading enjoyment. At “Mass Appeal,” our goal is to deliver a propaganda-free, fair, objective approach to news and current events. Most media outlets can’t say that. So, on behalf of the “Mass Appeal” crew and my information technology team, I’d like to say “Thank You.” Please tell your family and friends ‘Big Wayne’ says “What’s up?” And keep tuning in to “Mass Appeal News.” There’s plenty more to come. We’re just gettin’ started baby!
Well, that concludes my work for today. If you’re in need of the best relationship advice money can’t buy; please email all questions and concerns and I’ll gladly schedule your appointment. Remember, the rate hasn’t changed. Counseling is free of charge to all “Mass Appeal” readers.
Wayne Hodges, an MBA from St. Mary University, is the Editor-in-Chief of “Mass Appeal News.” He is also a candidate for Kansas Senate District #7, an adjunct professor, and MPA at the University of Kansas. Wayne welcomes your comments at whodges@massappealnews.com
To see Jazmine Sullivan’s “Bust your windows” video, click the arrow.
October 26th, 2009 at 7:19 pm
hey man i am glad i saw this post because this topic is sensitive to me
my exgirlfriend busted out the windows of my 85 Caprice a few years ago
women dont understand how important our cars are to us
they need to chill with bustin out windows and slashin tires
October 26th, 2009 at 9:35 pm
If men learn to act right we wont have to tear up cars…we gotta do somethin to get your attention.
October 27th, 2009 at 12:59 am
ladies, please leave our cars alone. all that drama aint even called for. if you want to avoid heartbreak, go out with me. i will kiss you softly on your lips all night and give you a full body massage after work. then we will settle into a nice warm bubble bath as i whisper sweet nothings in your ear. see only real MEN can put it down like me…if you wanna avoid pain, get with a winner and leave dat chicken dinner
October 27th, 2009 at 5:19 pm
i agree with White Chic…you guys better start actin right or else. LOL
October 27th, 2009 at 11:09 pm
Star in da Makin, better tell ya lady if she wants to live the ‘glamorous life’ she better chill and learn to support a brotha. She wont be complainin when you bring home dat million dollar check.
October 28th, 2009 at 12:03 am
if a man can prove he’s gonna make some serious money i will support him
otherwise he’s just wastin my time
and my time aint cheap
October 28th, 2009 at 2:31 am
To see me and my sexy friends in action, visit http://gstringdivas.com/
October 29th, 2009 at 5:47 am
i wanna make love to a black girl
October 29th, 2009 at 6:06 pm
Make love to a black girl??? you are too funny
Does color really matter when it comes to love?
What about chemistry and personality?
Dont limit yourself to just one color
Learn to judge people from the inside
October 29th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
your blog kicks ass man…keep up the good work!!! I’m hooked
October 30th, 2009 at 2:40 am
I cant seem to find a good man
where are they????
October 30th, 2009 at 5:14 pm
Lexy your good man is right here but how do you look? i like my women caramel brown with long hair and a coke bottle figure. do you meet these qualifications? if you do, fill out an application and i will get back to you.
October 31st, 2009 at 2:16 am
just got home from the club and i feel so sexy right now…
October 31st, 2009 at 10:07 am
Wayne, I agree with you. Busting out somebody’s windows is not the answer to a bad relationship. As women, sometimes we get emotional and let our heart direct our actions. Diva on a Mission, you dont have to stoop to his level. Just let a dog be a dog and I promise one day he will miss you but you will already be gone.
October 31st, 2009 at 2:20 pm
thats why i am stayin single…too many dogs are on the loose
November 2nd, 2009 at 3:41 am
if you want a date with a sexy latina like me, visit http://www.latindate.net/
November 3rd, 2009 at 12:06 am
Hey ‘Star in da Makin’ its all about the benjamins. Keep makin that paper and the woman will never leave your side.
November 3rd, 2009 at 3:23 pm
hodges keep bringin da noise playa
yo blog is on fire…way to represent da midwest
November 4th, 2009 at 5:10 am
awesome site…congrats
November 6th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
I dont have a problem with my man chasin his dreams as long as he brings a check to the house. Bills still have to be paid.
November 9th, 2009 at 1:44 am
ladies if your man acts up just wave a brick in front of his car. LOL
November 9th, 2009 at 11:17 pm
thats why i drive a hooptie
November 12th, 2009 at 7:48 am
Wayne you make a good point about keeping a job even while pursuing a music career. Too many of our young brothers and sisters believe they can make it in Hollywood. Not only does it take hard work but it takes a lot of luck to make it in show business. And like Junk-n-da-trunk said “BILLS STILL HAVE TO BE PAID.”
November 14th, 2009 at 10:55 am
wayne i love your line “romance and finance are synonymous”
very well said, and very true
keep up the good work!
November 16th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
a way to a man’s heart is his wallet…not his car. LOL
November 17th, 2009 at 3:33 am
aint no slippin in my pimpin
dont touch my car…playin with my ride iz like playin with my emotions
November 18th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
Who’s the mack? is it some brother in a big hat
Thinking he can get any b**** with a good rap?
Rolling in a f*****-up Lincoln
Leaning to the side So it looks like he’s sinking
Into that leopard interior
This fool thinks every girl’s inferior
To his tongue, get a dumb b*** sprung
November 20th, 2009 at 12:41 am
Mac, what are you talkin about???
November 23rd, 2009 at 1:29 am
ladies i am up late if anybody wants to chat
Im feelin kinda freaky tonight
the night is young and the mood is right
November 27th, 2009 at 9:20 am
cute blog…love it!
November 27th, 2009 at 1:12 pm
wayne, i agree with you. a woman who truly loves her man will support his goals and ambitions. Star in da makin, your woman is very selfish an she doesn’t appreciate you. You should find somebody who is going to stand by your side and help you chase your dreams.
December 1st, 2009 at 7:01 pm
where are all the tall dark and handsome men at???
December 4th, 2009 at 3:12 am
i once made love to 3 girls at the same time
i called it “MENAGE A QUAD”
December 6th, 2009 at 5:49 pm
if a woman bricks my car she better run
December 11th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Star in da makin, dont worry about it. a wise man once said: “YOU WILL NEVER LOSE WOMEN CHASIN MONEY, BUT YOU WILL LOSE ALOT OF MONEY CHASIN WOMEN” – Words to live by my brotha. Better recognize
December 19th, 2009 at 3:01 pm
that’s why i date white women…they don’t tear up your cars. black women will stab your tires, put sugar in yo gas tank and brick ya windows. white women go in a corner and cry.
December 21st, 2009 at 6:29 pm
love your blog hodges
December 22nd, 2009 at 1:08 am
sic ric you so funny. white women are dangerous too. look at what happened to tiger woods and steve mcnair. women are fed up with men playing games. color does not matter.
December 24th, 2009 at 12:14 am
U aint lyin…white women will kill yo ass
havent you seen Lifetime cuz?
December 25th, 2009 at 4:20 am
you guys are hilarious
January 3rd, 2010 at 12:20 am
drunk az a skunk lookin fo a honey to cuddle wit
are there any volunteers??? a brotha feelin kinda lonely right about now. i need some company so i can quit drinkin so damn much. i got 2 much free time on my hands. aint nothin to do but drink. im startin to get sick. 2 much liquor in my system. my liver iz all f***** up. i gotta quit drinkin somehow. im addicted to da bottle
January 12th, 2010 at 2:36 am
hodges make love to me…you can perform surgery on my body anytime. kisses
March 4th, 2010 at 9:20 pm
If a man cuts up we gotta do what we gotta do. Act right and we will act right.