‘I Can Do Bad all by Myself’
LADIES & GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO WACKY WAYNE’S MOVIE REVIEWS featuring the Mad Critic
Ratings Scale: 1=find a new career, 2=not too shabby, 3=chic flic, and 4=pretty damn special
Tyler Perry’s I Can do Bad all by Myself (Starring Taraji P. Henson and Adam Rodriguez); Reviewed by Wayne “Mad Critic” Hodges. Ever sought room and board from a woman who despised your every move? Are you currently a destitute Hispanic handyman searching for love in all the wrong places? Do you feel a sense of joy and revelation when dressing up in drag? If so, check out Time Warner’s “Movies on Demand” or stop by your local Blockbuster and pickup the popular DVD “Tyler Perry’s I Can do Bad by Myself.” The plot, which has become prevalent in Perry’s films, is actually quite interesting.
While snoozing in her bed late one night, pistol-packin’ Madea awakens to the noisy sound of three juvenile delinquents breaking into her home. Upon learning their whereabouts, Madea and her pothead brother Joe tackled the children to the floor and commenced to layin’ down a good, old-fashioned, Rodney King-type ass whuppin.’ I kid you not. The children laid helplessly on the floor as both Madea and Joe proceeded to stomp the living snot out of ‘em. After the beat-down, Madea discovers the perpetrators are nothing more than a ballsy collection of homeless children searching aimlessly for food.
With the legal guardian missing in action, 16-year-old Jennifer (Hope Alaide Wilson) assumed responsibility for raising her two younger brothers. To make ends meet, Jennifer would routinely give herself five-finger discounts at area grocery stores and retail outlets. Seriously, the girl stole more than Enron executives. Madea, perhaps out of sympathy, decided to take matters into her own hands by delivering the children to their only known relative: night club singer Aunt April, a hapless alcoholic. It should be noted; the insensitive damsel and her married, child-molesting boyfriend, Randy, made it clear from the get-go they weren’t interested in taking care of nobody’s kids (blood relatives or not).
When April wasn’t cursing the youngsters out, she was tossing insults. For instance, during their initial conversation, April addressed the threesome as Puff Daddy, Notorious BIG and Lil Kim. Pretty funny. As it turned out, the kids weren’t the only desperate souls seeking shelter. An impoverished Mexican immigrant (Sandino), fresh across the U.S. border, showed up at April’s door-step begging for a place to stay in exchange for household maintenance. Wow! Talk about bartering? I wonder if this strategy would work at the White House? April, rather reluctantly, granted the poor fool his wish by allowing him to crash inside her asbestos-filled, mildew-stained, cockroach-infested basement. Welcome to America Papi!
Taraji P. Henson and Adam Rodriguez give stellar performances
To compound matters, Sandino spent the majority of the film serving as the human toilet. The kids, at least initially, didn’t like him. April detested him. And Randy’s first words to Sandino were “you legal Mexico?” Yet, the Latino Casanova found both serendipity and fate in the pursuit of April as his one and only true love. What? You’ve got to be kidding me? Sandino, didn’t you notice a half-naked Randy roaming freely around April’s bedroom? Is that not disgusting to you? I mean really. Are you that hard-up for some brown sugar?
See, you can tell Sandino is new to the country. Why? He doesn’t understand 70% of black women in America are single. 70 percent. Instead of chasing a Jezebel like April, Sandino would’ve been much better off paying a visit to either the “VooDoo Lounge” at Harrah’s Casino or the “Epicurean” on a Saturday night. Both venues offer the best brown sugar buffets in town; enough to make a healthy man diabetic. Sandino, you got played. Plain and simple. April was, is, and never will be worth it. Hell, you can do bad all by yourself. Pay attention to the movie title. Ok, enough play-by-play. Time to sum this baby up.
As mentioned earlier, this film features the typical Perry theme: ‘Emotionally scorned woman seeks desperate male darkhouse.’ As redundant as this story has become, I still liked the film. Gladys Knight, Mary J. Blige and Marvin Winans deliver excellent vocals to what I consider a stellar music soundtrack. Sandino and Randy engage in one hell of a fist fight. And, of course, there’s the Perry-factor. The man, in my opinion, has evolved into the ‘Luther Vandross’ of the film industry. I’m dead serious. If you’re ever in the doghouse with your lady, pull out one of Tyler Perry’s greatest hits, plop it into the DVD player, and you’ll instantly find yourself back in good standing. Hey, what can I say? Women love Perry. So, why not take advantage? Score: 3
Wayne Hodges, an MBA from St. Mary University, is the Editor-in-Chief of “Mass Appeal News.” He is also an adjunct professor, MPA at Kansas University, and intern with the Kansas Senate. Wayne welcomes your comments at whodges@massappealnews.com
For a preview of Perry’s “I Can Do Bad all by Myself,” click the arrow.
February 9th, 2010 at 11:09 am
wayne you are so silly…this is hilarious!!!!
February 9th, 2010 at 12:52 pm
At first i was against interacial dating but if I can get a man as fine as Mr. Rodriguez then i wont mind crossing over. I love you AR
February 9th, 2010 at 1:30 pm
i like the review but this is not one of my favorite TP films. I liked the FAMILY THAT PREYS alot better. Taraji is my girl and i love me some Adam Rodriguez but i just couldnt get into the movie. i cant wait to see TP’s new movie WHY DID I GET MARRIED TOO. it looks really good on the previews.
February 9th, 2010 at 5:10 pm
why dont you guys get it thru your heads: TYLER PERRY’S FILMS SUCK!!!
February 12th, 2010 at 5:17 pm
I love Tyler Perry so it doesnt matter what movie it is. Taraji is a great actress. I am glad to see her getting roles on a regular basis.
Adam Rodriguez is cute but I prefer to stick with my handsome brothers. Coffee is good with cream but better when it is black.
February 15th, 2010 at 5:30 pm
I must agree with the people before me. I love everything Tyler Perry does. That is one brilliant black man. I will be the first person in line to buy a ticket when he gets to Kansas City. He can do no wrong with me.
March 2nd, 2010 at 4:15 pm
wayne you are so SILLY! leave it to you to write something this funny
THIS IS NOT MY FAVORITE TYLER FILM BUT I GOTS TO SUPPORT MY MAN
March 16th, 2010 at 3:35 pm
Hodges you my boy and all but gotta agree with goofybastard on this one. This movie sucks lemons!