Love Chronicles: What Men Want?
Dana Carroll, Sex & Relationships
HOW DO MEN CHOOSE WHAT WOMEN THEY WANT? by Dana Carroll
KANSAS CITY – Have you ever seen a guy you liked or thought was attractive and wondered, “Why is he with that girl?” Like it or not it’s a reason if not many reasons that draws him to her. So what is it that men want? If we knew the answer to this question we all could have any guy we were interested in right? While out to dinner with friends, a twenty something single guy informed me that men are simple.
He said that the reason men choose a particular woman has a lot to do with timing. This fact has been proven pretty accurate. But there is more to it than that. According to the May 2010 issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine, “It’s usually a small act or fleeting moment that makes them want to go the distance and pop the question.” They asked several married men why they married their wives and they each gave surprisingly simple reasons.
Men seem to chose who they want
The first man said he married his wife because she surprised him by buying him his favorite book. He’d told her years prior about the book so when she gave it to him he was shocked. The next man married his wife because she never nagged him about hanging out with his friends. Husband #3 explained how his wife took care of his ailing mother and that is how he knew she was the one. Another guy they asked told of how his then girlfriend and now wife, was not afraid to be the life of the party.
He said, “Looking at the people around her, I could see how enraptured with her they were. The way she lit up the room was amazing. Witnessing how her lively personality drew other people in made me realize she was the girl I couldn’t let get away.” What should be gathered from all of this is that none of these men mentioned looks as a reason. Often women focus on their appearance in order to get the man they want when they should focus on the emotional attachment they can form from just being themselves.
If you are outgoing there will be a man that sees this as exactly what he wants in his wife. If you are naturally considerate and pay attention to details, there will be opportunities for you to wow the man of your dreams. If you like having fun there will be someone that finds this one simple thing about you beautiful. One man even appreciated the way his wife argued with him. He loved that she was passionate about her views which caused them to fight, but she was also able to get him to talk about what was really bothering him in a way that made him feel comfortable.
What people in relationships need to understand is that just because you are not the one for him, doesn’t mean you are not the one for someone else. When it’s right men know. Just be yourself and allow the man of your dreams to see who you really are. It’s better to be appreciated for who you really are, rather than who you think he wants you to be.
Dana Carroll, the Kansas City Sex and Relationships Examiner, is the “Real Love” columnist for Mass Appeal News. She is also an actress and model. View this article, and others, on the Examiner by clicking here. Dana welcomes your comments at dcarroll@massappealnews.com. For a peek at her movie clips, click here.
To view Keith Murray’s “Fatty Girl” video, click the arrow.
April 22nd, 2010 at 4:04 pm
Good article! I do not normally give men much credit for knowing what they want. some men have no clue. But you do have men who are sure of themselves and know what they want. The hard part is finding men who will be honest with you, and tell you what they really want. Sometimes what we want is not necessarily what we need.
April 22nd, 2010 at 7:53 pm
what i need iz a woman thats down know wut im sayin
da lover needs love thats all i need
April 23rd, 2010 at 4:23 pm
who are we foolin?????? Men do not know what they want. its up to us women to show them the light. if we leave it up to them nothing will get done.
April 25th, 2010 at 7:40 am
love your blog post…good article!
April 25th, 2010 at 11:53 pm
dana when we gonna make that love connection???? i got a job with decent benefits. i give good massages. i pay bills. and i can cook. baby if U become my woman you wont have to do nothin after work but look fine. all your worries would b gone. KC Freak is 2nd to none
April 26th, 2010 at 2:12 pm
i see the conversation started without me. so now let a real playa chip in. a real man always no what he wants cause chasin women is our nature. we the hunters and women are the prey. women aint suppose to be agressive. thats our job. women need to quit thinkin they can do what a man can do cause that aint happenin. yall need to stay in yall place and let a playa play.
April 27th, 2010 at 9:23 pm
mac, you need to quit
May 5th, 2010 at 12:17 am
i want the world and everything in it
May 5th, 2010 at 2:28 am
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May 17th, 2010 at 7:09 am
love your blog post…bookmarked