Love Chronicles: Why Marriage?
Dana Carroll, Sex & Relationships
DO YOU HAVE TO SAY “YES” TO A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL? by Dana Carroll
KANSAS CITY – If someone gets down on one knee, hands you a diamond ring and asks you, “Will you marry me?” Do you have to say yes? Surprisingly a lot of people say you do. It is the fear of losing the person you are with that persuades you to agree to get married, arguably one of, if not the most important decision of your life. An engagement should be a happy time right? The trend of being in a relationship with someone for years has led to some unhappily engaged couples.
So the question remains how do you say no to someone you love so much? Some people might wonder why you wouldn’t want to marry someone you’ve been with for so long and there are several reasons. You might not feel your boyfriend is in the right financial position to be a husband. Or you are just not ready to make that final commitment. Any reason you have for not wanting to get married is your reason and no one else has to understand it. It is in that moment when he is kneeling before you with his hand extended holding a shiny diamond ring that you have to make the decision to be honest.
Marriage proposals can be stressful and full of pressure
If you can’t be honest with your boyfriend and tell him no then, you are definitely not ready to be married. Marriage is about honesty and trust and any marriage that begins with a lie will not last happily. Marriage is something that a lot of people seem to take very lightly. Both people in a relationship need to be on the same page. Most people want a proposal to be a surprise, not something that is expected. However there are ways to know if the person you are with wants to be married without coming out and asking.
If you notice your significant other all of a sudden starts talking about a future with you, kids, buying a house, these are all signs that he is moving in the direction of having you walk down the aisle. Make it very clear to the person you are with that you are not ready. Do not be afraid if they threaten to leave. Marriage is too much of a commitment to be bullied or ultimatumed into it. Have the strength to walk away if the only other choice is to walk down the aisle and falsely make a promise to someone you know you do not want to be with.
A good idea for any couple considering marriage is counseling.
Dana Carroll, the Kansas City Sex and Relationships Examiner, is the “Real Love” columnist for Mass Appeal News. She is also an actress and model. View this article, and others, on the Examiner by clicking here. Dana welcomes your comments at dcarroll@massappealnews.com. For a peek at her movie clips, click here.
To view Beyonce’s “Single Ladies (Put a ring on it)” video, click the play arrow.
June 28th, 2010 at 3:42 pm
What kind of article is this??? Who would be crazy enough to say yes to a marriage proposal if they dont mean it??? I dont understand your point.
June 28th, 2010 at 3:46 pm
I’ve been proposed to 4 times, accepted 3 times and went through with it 2 times. Now although these ultimately did not end up the way I would have liked for them to have, the fact that I have had 4 men who thought I was marriage material means I obviously am doing something that these others are not. I have men practically beating down my door. Could it be that exceptionally low-cut blouse you’re wearing? The jeans that are so tight they are bound to cause a yeast infection? Maybe it’s those extra pounds you’re sporting around the middle because you’ve been taught that being overweight equates to being “healthy”? Or does it have something to do with that Playboy bunny tattoo that you have sitting right up there on your bosom? Platinum blonde weave perhaps? And since when did women stop knowing how to cook?! I don’t know how many men I have met who were tickled to death by the mere fact that I actually cooked dinner for him—OFTEN–because they keep meeting women who don’t know how to cook! They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach—NOT his wallet. Stop worrying about how much money he makes and concentrate more on meeting his needs. Women want a man who can provide for her, well men want a woman who can provide a MEAL for him and who keeps herself up! Stop telling a man within 5 minutes of meeting him what you can do “that another woman won’t”. If all you have to offer is sex that is all he is going to want from you. Why do you think a woman can date a man for 4 years without so much as a marriage proposal and 6 months after you break up, he’s married to another woman? And all this talk about “I don’t need no man!” Well, just keep talking like that and your wish will come true cuz no man is gonna want you! God made Adam first and THEN Eve for a reason. If we didn’t need a man, he would have created nothing but a world full of Eve’s. There is nothing wrong with being independent and making a career for yourself but remember that men are still men and they need to be needed. Let him wash your car, let him cook for you, let him treat you if he wants to, let him open your doors, take your car to get the oil changed, etc. When a man feels as though his woman does not need him for anything, he will eventually look elsewhere or he will not be whatever it is you need him to be because that’s all he knows HOW to be. That is how men are taught from early on. But we have to get ourselves together before we can start pointing the finger at someone else. Because trust me–there are plenty of women out here who aren’t having this problem. I know because I’m one of them!
June 29th, 2010 at 1:00 pm
marriage is 4 punks who lack game
why marry a cow when u can get da milk fo free?
dont give a trick a ring.
u cant make a hookera housewife
June 29th, 2010 at 5:19 pm
mac thats why you will be a lonely old man. LOL
June 30th, 2010 at 4:43 am
BUSINESS COSTS DROP BY 0.5%…
Another similar article – financial crisis can also be profitable for business….
July 1st, 2010 at 3:36 pm
baby d i dont believe in marridge but if u be my girl i will make an x-ception LOL