‘Dear Hodges’ Broken Heart Surgeon
‘DEAR HODGES’ HAS RETURNED TO SURGICALLY REPAIR BROKEN HEARTS, by Wayne Hodges
SHAWNEE MISSION, Kan – Experiencing some problems in the bedroom? Does your spouse or significant other spend the majority of late night hours complaining about your sexual performance? Has your romantic fire been doused with a dripping wet towel of sexual dysfunction? If so, say no more. The ‘Broken Heart Surgeon’ is here to help spark your midnight flame.
Actually, only God above has all the answers. However, if you’re lookin’ for a local slant, this is certainly the place to be. Unfortunately, as the Summer heats up, more online cases of heartache flu and relationship fever have resurfaced. But, that’s OK. I’ll just grab my stethoscope, prescription booklet and first aid kit as we get down to the love resuscitation business.
Janet Jackson wants to know “What have you done for me lately?”
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY?: “Dear Hodges, I am a 27 year-old proud mother of two beautiful children. About six months ago, I allowed my boyfriend to move in with hopes he would lend financial support. The first couple of months were excellent. He helped pay bills and buy groceries. And he, still to this day, is great with my kids. But the last four months have been complete hell from a money perspective. He has somehow managed to lose his job, and now I feel like I’m taking care of three kids instead of two. Could you please give some advice on how to proceed further? Sincerely, Baby’s fed up.”
HODGES: This situation is obviously very serious because it involves children. But, what concerns me most is the fact “love” is not mentioned anywhere in your comment. This indicates you’re both in this relationship for tangible reasons. For you, it’s an extra paycheck coming into the home. For him, maybe it’s a place to stay? Nonetheless, “shacking up” is not worth the emotional roller-coaster you and your children are riding on. As the parent, it’s your responsibility to provide a stress-free environment conducive to healthy child development. Besides, cohabitation should be condemned at all times; unless there’s potential for marriage. Meaning? Find out if there are any wedding bells in your future. If he has a history of being laid-off and unemployed, the answer to that question is probably “no.” And you’ll have to move on.
New Edition won the ladies’ hearts with “Mr. Telephone Man”
MR. TELEPHONE MAN: “Dear Hodges, I may have really messed up this time. A couple weeks ago, my girlfriend went through my cell phone and called this young lady I was secretly seeing. To make a long story short, my girlfriend found out I was sleeping around, and I haven’t heard from her since. At the time, I begged for her forgiveness and swore to never do it again, but nothing came of it. Last week, I sent her a letter of apology. I’ve even made several phone calls and left voice messages each time. But she refuses to pick up the phone. Should I pursue this relationship further, or consider it over and move on to bigger and better things? Holla’ back. ‘Lost without a cause’ from Kansas City.”
HODGES: ‘Lost without a cause,’ unfortunately there is a cause for the emotional strife you’re going through. And it’s called cheating. Yuck! Stepping out on your lover is horrible for three painful reasons. 1) You could catch an STD. 2) You run the risk of creating an un-wed childbirth. And 3) a recision of the spiritual bond is certain to take place. Even if she takes you back; your relationship will never be the same. You’ll be skating on thin ice the entire time. And during each subsequent mood swing, she will always see you as that same, tired, cheating loser who once shafted her for greener pastures. What’s that old saying? “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn?” Take heed my brother: don’t try to rectify the situation! Stop calling, move on peacefully, and keep your banana and two apples in the fruit bowl next time.
Salt-n-Pepa wants us to “Talk about Sex”
LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX: “Dear Hodges, is it true most men think about sex 90% of the time? Sincerely, Promiscuous Girl, from Shawnee Mission.”
HODGES: Yep!
Tina Turner raised the question “What’s love got to do with it?”
WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?: “Dear Hodges, last week I found out the man I have been living with for 2 years is dating someone else. When I approached him about the situation, he said it was none of my business. I couldn’t believe he said that to me. How is it not my business? We were in an intimate relationship for crying out loud. I am doing what needs to be done, and taking the necessary steps to remove this person from my home. I feel it’s time to heal and move on. He has so little respect for our relationship that he now texts, calls, and goes out with his new love right in front of me. I have so many emotions going on right now. Please help! Sincerely, ‘Cryin in Kansas.”
HODGES: ‘Cryin’ in Kansas,’ don’t shed another tear. Reconciliation is not an option here. Your boyfriend’s despicable acts of betrayal are purposely on display for one reason. The nefarious weasel is trying to get a rise out of you. So, why not accommodate him? Regardless the pain, it’s imperative to take into consideration your feelings, and the physical/emotional well-being of your children (if you have any) above all else. Don’t let the fear of being alone compromise your pursuit for true love and romance. Believe me; you’re far better off single and in peace, than stuck in a relationship of turmoil and despair. Most importantly, don’t allow anyone to embezzle such intrinsic values as dignity and self-respect. Once gone, they’re very difficult to get back.
Also, keep in mind: one man’s Kentucky Fried Chicken is another man’s Outback steak. And on that note, I’m prescribing “Dr. Love’s” special antidote which is: throw his 2-timing butt out the door, visit a spa, go shopping to rebuild self-esteem, and wait at least a few months before giving your heart to someone else. Heck, a year shouldn’t be out the question. But whatever you do, please stick to the prescription; and you’ll be up on your feet in no time. Failure to take the prescribed dosage could result in symptoms of heartache, neuralgia and misery; with dire consequences to follow.
Well, that concludes my work for today. If you’re in need of the best relationship advice money can’t buy; please email all questions and concerns and I’ll gladly schedule your appointment. Remember, the rate hasn’t changed. Counseling is free of charge to all “Mass Appeal” readers.
Wayne Hodges, an MBA from St. Mary University, is the Editor-in-Chief of “Mass Appeal News.” He is also a candidate for Kansas Senate District #7, an adjunct professor, and MPA at the University of Kansas. Wayne welcomes your comments at whodges@massappealnews.com
To see Janet Jackson’s “What have you done for me lately” video, click the arrow.
February 20th, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Hello Hodges,
I just wanted to comment on a few of the messages.
1) WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR ME LATELY- This is how most of those types of relationships end up. Some men or use to using women to live. They really love to use children as their way in. I feel a man will only do what you let them do. A real man would feel bad lying around the house sucking up the positive energy that is left in the house. He would be out killing himself to get another job. If you Kick his butt out of the house, he will move in with the next woman. Give him a month to come up with something to help with the bills. If he can’t do it, write him a letter and tell him to move out.
I was married for 10 years and three kids. As oon as my husband lost his job and didn’t try to get a job, I told him he would have to get a job or get out. It was legally his house so I moved me and my children into a shack. Do what you have to do!!
MR. TELEPHONE MAN– STOP LYING AND PLAYING. You know you are not sorry . You are the type of man that gets into a relationship knowing you still have “DAWG” ways. If you are not going to sell out in a relationship, continue sleepying around until you get a NICE SIZE STD. I don’t blame her for leaving you. You probably been sleepying around for a minute. BE A MAN, BE HONEST, and USE YOUR TOP BRAIN.
LET’S TALK ABOUT SEX:–Men think about sex every 15 minutes but it is up to us women to help check their appetites.
WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT– Most women don’t know how to accept their blessing. God has opened your eyes and let you see what is wrong in your life. Their is no need to cry, he was a no good for nothing man. Stop tripping over something you never had in the first place. My theory is “I don’t chase them, I replace them.
Thank Lady Lynette
(The Woman Side)
May 10th, 2009 at 9:07 am
Actually I thought men think about sex 100% of the time. Men need to spend more time getting to know us instead of always looking at the physical.
May 13th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Nope, 90% sounds just about right. The other 10% is reserved for sports.
May 13th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
Nice picture of my boyfriend LL Cool J.
June 3rd, 2010 at 5:28 pm
Love this video!
June 3rd, 2010 at 6:52 pm
wayne i love your relationship blog. you are so right about ‘CRYIN IN KANSAS’
she can do much better than to stay with a loser like that
June 4th, 2010 at 1:54 pm
mr telephone man is p**** whipped
June 15th, 2010 at 9:21 pm
d tone u right. dude is whipped. women outnumber men 3-to-1 so why iz dude sweatin’ one girl. damn cuz grow a sack and quit trippin
July 9th, 2010 at 11:44 am
cryin in kansas — if u look good enough u can be one of my chickenheads.
just post a pic next to your comments so i can see what im workin with.
July 9th, 2010 at 1:24 pm
Cryin in Kansas you need to kick his ass to the curb and get you a real man who will love and appreciate you. Men will only do what you allow them to do. Look in the mirror girlfriend.
July 19th, 2010 at 10:46 pm
brilliant! loved every word mr. heart surgeon