Alvin Greene’s silly Q&A session
SOUTH CAROLINA’S ALVIN GREENE SHARES THOUGHTS IN Q&A, Wired from AOLNews.com
SOUTH CAROLINA – For the record, Alvin Greene thinks his story is “not too weird.” He may be the only one. The 32-year-old unemployed Army vet’s rise to U.S. Senate contender is one of the more bizarre political narratives in recent memory. Last month, he won the Democratic Senate primary in South Carolina in a landslide. Before then, no one had ever heard of Greene, and he didn’t really do anything to earn the nomination (short of paying the $10,400 filing fee): no campaign to speak of, no rallies, no fundraising, nothing.
The stunning victory set off a swirl of theories, from Greene’s being a Republican plant to the benefits of his name being the first on the ballot alphabetically (his opponent was Vic Rawl, a former judge who’d run an aggressive campaign). As the world has gotten to know Greene, his story has just gotten weirder. He’s been aloof to the point of incoherent in interviews — he’s been compared with both Forrest Gump and Rain Man — and it’s been revealed that he’s facing criminal obscenity charges for allegedly showing pornography to a college student.
This week he made headlines again when he told a British newspaper that one way to create jobs in the state would be to have people make little action figures of him. Reached at his home, Greene — perhaps surprisingly — agreed to play along with our Weekend Questionnaire. And if you’re looking for a politician who doesn’t simply run his mouth, Greene just might be that guy: On a couple of occasions during the interview, it took him almost five minutes to say anything. (Except for the questions about where he was at the moment, and who should play him in a movie — he got those immediately.)
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What follows is the full transcript of a 33-minute conversation.
Where are you right now?
Home. Manning, South Carolina.
What’s your idea of a perfect weekend?
Just lots of rest and watching sports and television. Just relaxing and taking it easy.
If I could grant you one superpower for this weekend, flight or invisibility, which would you choose?
To fly. Just to get up high.
If you could host a dinner party with any three people, living or dead, who would you invite?
What about Al Green? Let’s see, hmm, Michael Jordan. And Michael Jackson.
What would you choose as your last meal?
Pizza.
If you had to enter a competitive eating competition, what would you want the food to be?
What about pizza?
If you could have lunch with the president, what’s the one idea you’d want to plant in his head?
Uh, supporting me in my campaign. [Laughs.]
What’s your most embarrassing moment from your youth?
That’s kind of hard. Nothing really stands out. What about, maybe just something like an accident? Like running into the monkey bars on the playground as a kid. Just an accident. Childhood injury-like. Busting my lip running into the monkey bars on the playground. Just a childhood injury. Collision with the playground equipment in primary school, that was kind of embarrassing. Just a run-in, not looking where I’m going. That was kind of hard.
What’s the best thing about your hometown?
The weather.
If you could pick one age to be for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Hmm. Twenty-five. You’re just … physically, you have the most energy as far as exercise. Energy-wise as far as stamina-wise, I think 25 was energy, as far as endurance, endurance, energy, that’s what I’m thinking about. Just physical endurance. Energy. Just working out. Physical activity.
Which accomplishment are you most proud of?
My primary victory.
What is your biggest regret?
Hmm. There’s no real regret. Let’s see. Maybe falling for trouble-making girls? How about that?
Do you have a recurring dream?
To win the general election.
What song captures your mood right now?
Let’s see. Let’s see. Hmm. Let’s see. “I Choose You,” by Charlie Wilson.
Are all babies cute?
No. [Laughs]
Do you believe in an afterlife, and if so, what would you like it to be?
Yes. I would like it to be peaceful sleep. [Laughs]
Do you cry at weddings?
No.
How many true friends do you have?
True friends, hmm, let’s say two.
What movie have you seen the most times?
Let’s see. Let’s see. Just put “I Am Legend.”
If you could be buried with one memento from your life, what would you choose?
My satin green tie. [Laughs.]
What’s always in your refrigerator?
Milk.
Who would you like to play you in the movie of your life?
Denzel Washington.
If you had to lose one of your five senses, what would you choose?
Smell.
If you were teaching an English class, what books would be required reading?
How about “Journey to Justice,” Johnnie Cochran; “Bad as I Wanna Be” — Dennis Rodman wrote that one; and “Moonwalker,” Michael Jackson.
If you could punch one famous person, who would it be?
Grouchy Smurf. Hahahaha.
Have you ever cried watching a movie?
No.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how attractive are you?
Eight.
If it were possible to know the date of your death, would you want to know?
Yes.
If you had to enter a talent show, what would your talent be?
I’m going to say singing.