Crazy girlfriend arrested and jailed after squeezin’ boyfriend’s balls ’til they bled

Katie Pitchford jailed for squeezing boyfriend’s nuts.

Crazy girlfriend squeezes balls.

Blog King, Mass Appeal

INDIAN HARBOUR — Here’s a BALL-sy, nutcracker tale that gives new meaning to the term “blue balls.” Katie Lee Pitchford was thrown behind bars last week for squeezing her boyfriend’s cojones so hard, they actually bled. The sanguinary ordeal went down June 4th at Indian Harbour Beach on Florida’s Space Coast. According to police reports, Katie and her live-in boyfriend experienced a falling-out over date night. Moments later, the 21-year-old damsel hit the poor fella multiple times in the countenance with a hairbrush.

As blood streaked down the victim’s cheek, Katie continued to “strike him with her fists” before she ultimately “grabbed him by his balls and squeezed them until they were bleeding.” The boyfriend was somehow able to hobble over to the phone and call police. Katie, who’s already on probation for assaulting a police officer in 2017, was arrested and charged with domestic battery.

Moral of the story?

Protect your gonads at all costs and never let a splenetic chick near your nuts.

Share your thoughts below.

25 comments

  1. SIGN OF THE SOUTHERN CROSS

    American “women” are becoming savage WHORES !

  2. The pretty ones are always the craziest

  3. lol wonder what he did.

  4. She looks like a ball breaker lmho

  5. Sexy and crazy, but send dat bitch to prison idc

  6. she must have watched how men treated her Mother, MAYBE, and she is not going to let history repeat on her, being jerked around by men.

  7. Attractive but crazy!! Pick wisely😂

  8. I will squeeze you’re 🥜 for free

  9. If you are going to date a woman like that you had better learn to sleep with one eye open. Does anyone remember Lorena Bobbitt? Could be another one here.

  10. Why the hell didn’t he punch the whore?

  11. He did the right thing.
    Guys, no two-bit thot is worth getting arrested for. Let them kick your ass, call the police and let them get the skank out of your life.
    AND DON’T TAKE THE HOE BACK.

  12. This Chick has balls.🎱🎱..ohhh wait!!!🤯🤯

  13. Katie needs to be a mortal kombat character with a finisher like that.

  14. That guy is lucky he’s still alive

  15. This story is nutz

  16. The Ghost of Judah Tribe

    I don’t know why, but this shit was hilarious. She should go to jail though. Poor guy.

  17. What do you expect? It’s Florida. Them bitches are crazy.

  18. B-263-54 Bee Boobs

    I wonder if a guy gives a punch in the ovaries to a woman (making her bleed, of course) if would get the same
    treatment.

  19. Damn she can squeeze mine anyday !nice

  20. I would pay good money to have a sexy babe squeeze my nuts

  21. Ruthless Lover

    she can squeeze my nuts az long az she licks my balls

  22. wifey material

  23. my balls hurt just reading this article

  24. Protect the Nuggets

    just goes to show u cant trust everybody around your nuts

  25. Blessed to have Ovaries :)

    I have to wonder what he did right before she hurt him. She is 21. She knew what she was doing. Newsflash: we learn how vulnerable you guys are in elementary school. Even earlier if we have brothers lol. By 14 I knew never to hurt a guy there and so did all my girl friends. I always loved older boys because they were closer to my equal mentally. That and they wouldn’t cum on my thigh after 5 seconds (yes, that happened once!). So when I accidentally kneed my first real bf in bed I knew this wasn’t some immature prank, I had hurt him. I actually cried for him, that’s how sorry I was. I imagined how his mom would feel if she never had any grandchildren.

    So I care deeply about men and always have. But I have learned to be wary of you. Most rapists are men we know, and most rapes start off consensual. Just because we’re both naked doesn’t mean you may put your penis in me. And guys, being sexually inexperienced is no excuse.
    When I was 18 I slept with a 20 year old virgin (seriously). I almost got up to leave when he admitted it. But I was still horny after sleeping with some other guys at the same party (3 x 10-minute men = 10 minutes still haha). I explicitly told Chris he could lick my pussy and use his hands *gently*. I would not touch his penis, period. Why? Because I know what happens to guys when your nuts are empty (limp noodle, zero interest). And I know how easily your nuts are emptied. I wasn’t some object for him to lose his V-card with.
    Anyways, he somehow gave me an orgasm thanks to my constant guidance. “Did you finish?” he asks, lying next to me. “My tongue is tired.” I just laughed at the word “finish.” He was a legit virgin, 100%. “Only you ‘finish,’ Chris.” This was when I should have left, but I was still horny so I masturbated in front of this desperate guy. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 orgasms. Normal girl stuff. But I think after 20 minutes his brain snapped. “How is it fair?” he exclaimed and climbed on top of me. “No, Chris!” I warned. Louder. “No, Chris! Please don’t make me hurt you!”
    In the three years since I have listened to other men defend what he did: I teased him, it’s male instinct, he had blue balls, I deserved it, etc. No. You can’t understand the shame and rage I felt when this *male* *virgin* thrust his pathetic thing inside me. My shock and disgust when he ejaculated within two strokes. No other girl had ever wanted his pencil dick, so he used it like a needle to inject his sperm deep inside my vagina.
    I think this is a primitive evolutionary strategy for inferior males. Not to brag, but I’m attractive. 99th percentile for girls 16-24. I was a child model before I quit to focus on school. Perfect hip-to-waist ratio, I’m told. So a male loser uses his upper body strength to impregnate the most fertile girl he can find. Male losers ejaculate prematurely because they evolved to use this strategy. Chris came so fast and deep I didn’t have time to react and prevent it. Like Katie did to her boyfriend, I squeezed his ‘cojones’ until I felt them give way. But without birth control I would probably still have become pregnant. I know I’m super-fertile. 50/50 chance I would have his son and he would be another pin-dick quick-shot, a future rapist. In evolutionary terms, Chris’ genes would live on even though his testicles were destroyed. Because no girl will ever accept their seed, male losers risk their gonads on one final rape attempt. It makes sense biologically.

    Cringe all you like, boys, but look at the evidence in this case. Katie is 21 years old, quite attractive, fertile, and seems experienced with men. Her boyfriend has been arguing with her, and evidently he is naked. I assume they both are. I know men like to talk about “hate-fucking” because violence arouses their primitive sex drive. But if a girl says stop it means stop immediately. My guess is he went into that brain dead mode guys have where they just thrust like wild animals. He either ignored or couldn’t even hear her protests, so she had to take action. She is a slim girl like me. I’m 5ft and 90lbs, I can’t even throw a punch. If I was attacked by another girl (likely stronger than me) I would just have to endure it. Possibly even for hours or days, due to her unlimited sexual capacity. Luckily girls never rape because we have no need to. My sex drive is more powerful than yours, my pleasure is greater, more tempting, more frequent. Yet ever since puberty, boys my age looked at me and considered taking me by force. Unwanted virgins with their useless dicks. Me? Whenever I wanted it I could get it immediately. From any guy, from several at once, anything. My pussy is worth more than my weight in gold.

    So Katie needs worry only about rape by a male (e.g. her boyfriend). The same is true for me. Now imagine that male is you. I’m naked, but must also be naked. To fuck me you have to expose your penis and — more crucially — your testicles in their scrotum. You’re stronger than me, but you’re definitely *not* a girl. I would have two choices: A. Endure it for 15-30 seconds, then report you to the police. B. Take “matters” into my own hands once again. I would move much more quickly than I did with Chris. No warnings. Think of how quickly you cum with a girl on average, and divide that time by 10. With my tight slit that’s how long you have. 30 seconds for a 5-minute man. 1 minute for a 10-minute man like the guys in my foursome earlier the night Chris raped me. Maybe you’re not a virgin, maybe you’re experienced. Let’s say 2 minutes for you. Now look at your ballsack and really imagine wanting to incapacitate both organs ASAP. Double rupture, tearing the strings that connect each testicle to your body, even just tying the strings in knots and cutting off their blood supply and sperm transport. Do you honestly think they could survive 2 minutes at my mercy? I think I could castrate any adult male in under 15 seconds (bare handed) or under 5 seconds (with tools).

    Katie actually went easy on her boyfriend, all things considered. Believe me — if a girl really wanted to hurt your grapes you would be unconscious, not making a phone call. Even if it was a misunderstanding and he wasn’t trying to rape her, he’s lucky not to be sterile.

    “Why the hell didn’t he punch the whore?” — Punch a girl and you deserve to lose your nuts. If I was holding your testicles and you punched me, I would do the old twist and pull without hesitation. And I’m proud to be a “whore,” I can fuck guys like you one after the other and drain them all. Enjoy your refractory period, loser.

    “I wonder if a guy gives a punch in the ovaries to a woman (making her bleed, of course) if would get the same
    treatment.” — lol virgin, do you even know where ovaries are? You literally *can’t* punch a girl in the ovaries, it’s not physically possible. “I’m going to punch you in the heart.” — that’s what your threat sounds like to me. Yet despite the absurdity, you still display your misogyny like an angry virgin. How would you “punch my ovaries” exactly? Would you punch me in the pussy? The stomach? Even the chest? It sounds like just seeing me nude would confuse you. But I would happily trade you punch for punch, kick for kick, squeeze for squeeze. If you ever meet me you’d better have some sperm samples frozen.

    In fact, storing sperm is probably a wise move for all males. Somehow 95% of males make it to puberty with their balls intact and functioning. If males weren’t disposable in human society, we would store your first month of ejaculations. 120 samples frozen at the beginning of puberty for each boy, in case of future genital injury. 4 ejaculations per day (i.e. every 6 hours) should be technically possible in that first month after a male’s balls “drop.” Age 13-14 is a male’s sexual peak. Your sperm quality decreases from that age, and your refractory period lengthens. Assuming their testicles are never injured throughout their lives, most males experience their final ejaculation in their mid-50s. Degeneration of the male genitals is natural and inevitable (in contrast to the female genitals). Men experience premature ejaculation in their teens and early 20s, then erectile dysfunction and impotence by 30. Why? Your testicles produce testosterone. Now, unlike my ovaries your testicles cannot heal themselves. Dangling outside in a bag means each organ suffers dozens of imperceptible insults every day, even without the unfortunate male noticing. Sitting down on a chair, riding a bike, high pressure water in a shower or spa, temperatures over 100F, etc. It all adds up. You could wear a cup your entire life, but your Leydig cells are still guaranteed 100% dead by 60. Your Sertoli cells (sperm makers)? Dysfunctional at 40 and dead by 50.

    So freeze your sperm, sexual mortals. Escape serious injury like the lucky few of your kind, and your entire sexuality will still wither and die with your exposed genitals. I — blessed among sexual immortals — will watch you fade away. The best X sperm your kind provides will artificially inseminate every fertile womb on Earth. All Y sperm will be removed by centrifuge and destroyed. My daughter’s daughters will not even know what a “male” was or that you ever existed. Next time you hurt your gonads or wait through your refractory period, take comfort that no child in future generations will be born cursed as you were.

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