Gonzalez predicts Mahomes record. Blog King, Mass Appeal KANSAS CITY — How’s this for an augury? Patrick Mahomes is gonna disintegrate Peyton Manning’s 55-touchdown record, this according to Kansas City Chiefs legend Tony Gonzalez who conveyed that temerarious sentiment to TMZ the other day. When asked if Mahomes has the fortuity to shift Manning’s epic 2013 season into the rear-view ...
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Eddie Murphy & model Paige Butcher are happily engaged, expecting Baby No. 2
Eddie Murphy is getting married. Blog King, Mass Appeal LOS ANGELES — Coming to… another wedding? Veteran thespian Eddie Murphy is gettin’ hitched for the second time. The 57-year-old humorist popped the question to gravid girlfriend Paige Butcher on Friday and she said “yes.” The marriage proposal couldn’t have come at a more opportune time given the fact Paige is ...
Read More »Night School: Tryin’ to get your GED?
Kevin ‘n’ Tiffany study late night. Blog King, Mass Appeal LOS ANGELES — “You tryin’ to get your GED?” Malcolm D. Lee’s “Night School” has finally materialized at a theater near you and it would certainly be sapient to pack an extra pair of skivvies just in case you wet your pants. Diminutive comic Kevin Hart, 39, and Emmy winner Tiffany ...
Read More »Bill Cosby faces less than 10 years of imprisonment following vexed deal
Cosby catches an enormous break. Blog King, Mass Appeal NORRISTOWN — Bill Cosby, you slick rascal you. In what may go down as the most outré sentencing ever, Cosby’s now looking at less than 10 years of imprisonment after prosecutors and defense attorneys struck a deal on Monday to amalgamate his three counts of aggravated indecent assault into a solitary ...
Read More »Racist killer stabs elderly negro to death, believes blacks should be exterminated
Racist stabber loathes blacks. Blog King, Mass Appeal NEW YORK — James Jackson, the 30-year-old White supremacist with an urban moniker, is putrefying behind bars after he rendered police a videotaped confession that shows him gloating about killing 66-year-old Timothy Caughman because, get this: he’s sick of black men dating white women. Also, if purveyed the fortuity, James plans to ...
Read More »Tiger Woods is back: Iconic golfer secures elusive victory at East Lake Golf Course
Tiger Woods is dominant again. Blog King, Mass Appeal ATLANTA, Ga — He’s back. Renowned Cablinasian Tiger Woods has put himself back on the map and rabid sports fans (and television networks) couldn’t be happier. If you missed out, Sunday’s thingamajig was an object of beauty. Simply put… as Tiger approached the 18th green at Atlanta’s East Lake Golf Course, my ...
Read More »School bus driver allows students to take steering wheel, ordeal captured on video
Bus driver let students drive. Blog King, Mass Appeal INDIANAPOLIS — “The wheels on the bus go round and round…” This week’s “I F*cked Up A Good Job Award” goes to 27-year-old bus driver Joandrea McAtee who was arrested and fired on Friday for, get this: letting three students (ages 11, 13 and 17) drive her bus. The lax incident ...
Read More »Transgender warehouse worker goes off, extirpates three then shoots herself dead
Transgender chick murdered workers. Blog King, Mass Appeal BALTIMORE — Snochia Moseley was a dissatisfied transgender temp worker at a Rite Aid Distribution Center near Baltimore, Maryland. Amid reports she wrangled with rival co-workers, Snochia vacated the warehouse Thursday morning, came back with a 9mm glock pistol, then opened fire — extirpating a trio of innocent employees before blowing her ...
Read More »Bert and Ernie are out the closet: they’re officially homosexual according to writer
Bert and Ernie officially gay. Blog King, Mass Appeal WASHINGTON — After nearly 50 years of speculation, we just learned Bert and Ernie are a pair of homosexuals. That’s not a misprint. The iconic duo has finally come out the closet. Bert and Ernie are officially gay, this according to Sesame Street writer Mark Saltzman who let the cat out the ...
Read More »Atlanta rapist sexually assaults lady who identifies him on a train 6 years later
Victim identifies rapist on a train. Blog King, Mass Appeal ATLANTA — In a classic case of construing “no” for “yes,” Antonio White, 54, purloined sex from a woman in Atlanta in 2007. Thinking he’d gotten away with the crime, Antonio boarded a train in 2013 and was immediately recognized by the victim who proceeded to “yell out,” causing a dramatic ...
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