Home inspector rapes Elmo doll.  Blog King, Mass Appeal PONTIAC — Kevin Wayne VanLuven was tickled by Elmo. Now he’s behind bars. The 59-year-old home inspector was thrown in the slammer after he forced the Sesame Street character to give him a blow job while on the job. The pornographic ordeal transpired March 12th inside the nursery of a 22-year-old ...

Deshaun Watson facing lawsuits. Blog King, Mass Appeal HOUSTON — It’s not about money. It’s about taking “back the power.” Those are the words of alleged rape victim Ashley Solis who went public with her accusations against Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson. The teary-eyed damsel ratted him out in a press conference Tuesday morning alongside her attorney Tony Buzbee. Using ...

Black men killed Caucasian chick.  Blog King, Mass Appeal MIAMI — Evoire Collier, 21, and Dorian Taylor, 24, had their black asses thrown in jail after they raped and killed a vacationing white woman. The heinous ordeal transpired early Thursday morning around 1 a.m. in Miami during Spring Break. According to police reports, Evoire and Dorian gave 24-year-old Christine Englehardt ...

Michael and Lori Instagram official.  Blog King, Mass Appeal HOLLYWOOD — In case you didn’t know, Michael B. Jordan and Lori Harvey are knockin’ boots and they made their copulation official on Sunday with an Instagram collage. The “Creed” protagonist and Steve Harvey’s adopted daughter posted a lovey-dovey photo gallery of themselves canoodling. One of the polaroids shows Michael osculating ...

Emanuel Cleaver ‘target’ of vitriol.  Blog King, Mass Appeal KANSAS CITY — We’re just days into 2021, and we already have a negro pastor saying some of the most idiotic sh*t ever. Dude, sometimes I wish I could join the Ku Klux Klan. Check this out: After articulating a prayer on Sunday to open the new session of Congress, Missouri ...

LaVar Ball says groupies await.  Blog King, Mass Appeal LOS ANGELES — Never one to bite his tongue, LaVar Ball spewed some dating advice to his two sons who are earning beaucoup bucks in the NBA: They will only meet “hoes” as long as they’re playing in the league. Lonzo Ball, 23, is a point guard for the New Orleans ...

Woman regrets ‘online dating.’ Blog King, Mass Appeal ATLANTA — Here’s another reason to remain skeptical of online dating. Benjamin Fancher is facing charges after he pummeled a chick he met online because she cost too much money during their date. No bullsh*t. The heinous ordeal transpired Wednesday night in Atlanta, Georgia. According to police reports, Benjamin met Brittany Correri ...

Cardi B taught Anatomy 101. Blog King, Mass Appeal ATLANTA — Cardi B is indeed the swiss army knife of entertainment. She’s a rapper, she’s a politician and now she’s an educator. Just hours after some jackass disseminated a counterfeit image of her twat online, Cardi clapped back with a pornographic crash course in vulva anatomy. The “Bodak Yellow” star, ...

Trump circulates Hunter sex tape. Blog King, Mass Appeal WASHINGTON — Donald Trump may end up losing the presidential election. But he ain’t going down without a fight. As a matter of fact, he’s pulling out all the stops — even if the stratagem entails a little pornography. In a shocking development, President Trump broke the internet over the weekend ...