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Home inspector rapes Elmo doll.  Blog King, Mass Appeal PONTIAC — Kevin Wayne VanLuven was tickled by Elmo. Now he’s behind bars. The 59-year-old home inspector was thrown in the slammer after he forced the Sesame Street character to give him a blow job while on the job. The pornographic ordeal transpired March 12th inside the nursery of a 22-year-old ...

DMX dead from COVID vaccine. Blog King, Mass Appeal NEW YORK — When rapper DMX (né Earl Simmons) suffered a massive heart attack a few days ago, word on the street claimed it was the byproduct of a drug overdose. Turns out, that’s not the case at all. A family member said the quondam junkie took the coronavirus vaccine a ...

Morgan Freeman promotes vaccine. Blog King, Mass Appeal HOLLYWOOD — Morgan Freeman says we should get the coronavirus vaccine because we can trust him. No bullsh*t. I don’t even know that n*gga. The 83-year-old thespian, who has played God in several films, damn near broke the Internet the other day when he released a public service announcement via YouTube urging ...

Deshaun Watson facing lawsuits. Blog King, Mass Appeal HOUSTON — It’s not about money. It’s about taking “back the power.” Those are the words of alleged rape victim Ashley Solis who went public with her accusations against Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson. The teary-eyed damsel ratted him out in a press conference Tuesday morning alongside her attorney Tony Buzbee. Using ...

Psycho brothers murdered family.  Blog King, Mass Appeal ALLEN — Police officials in Allen, Texas are searching for answers after 19-year-old Farhan Towhid and his 21-year-old brother, Tanvir Towhid, murdered their entire family (à la the Menendez brothers) before taking their own lives. The murder-suicide transpired at their residence around 1:00 a.m. Monday morning. While conducting a welfare check, police ...

Space Jam trailer doesn’t disappoint.  Blog King, Mass Appeal HOLLYWOOD — After a 25-year hiatus, the cartoon ballers of Looney Tunes are back on the hardwood. Warner Bros. released the first trailer for “Space Jam: A New Legacy” on Saturday that lays out the blueprint of the highly anticipated sequel. The 2-minute clip shows LeBron James experiencing contretemps with his ...

4 Cops beat up black teenager. Blog King, Mass Appeal STOCKTON — Law enforcement officials in Stockton, California are catching hell after a quartet of white police officers beat the sh*t out of a black high school student. The Rodney King imitation transpired during a traffic stop on December 30, 2020. It was also captured on video. Police body cam ...

Lil Wayne buys spiffy mansion.  Blog King, Mass Appeal LOS ANGELES — Lil Wayne considers LeBron James to be the G.O.A.T. Now he can visit him whenever we wants. That’s because the 38-year-old rapper purchased a spiffy new mansion in Los Angeles for $15.4 million. The palatial farm house estate comes with 12,135 square feet of living area, 7 bedrooms, ...

Taco Bell window smashed by a car. Blog King, Mass Appeal BALTIMORE — “Yo Quiero Taco Bell!” Tanesha Renea Williams, 25, and Diamond Shanay Johnson, 28, are facing charges after they drove their car through Taco Bell’s front entrance. Both are corrections officers in Prince George’s County. The hit-and-run transpired around 10 p.m. Wednesday night. It was also captured on ...

Saweetie hurt in elevator scuffle. Blog King, Mass Appeal HOLLYWOOD — Now we know why they really broke up… and it wasn’t just cheating. TMZ released a video of hip-hop lovebirds Quavo and Saweetie fighting inside an elevator (à la Ray Rice). The Ike & Tina imitation went down a few months ago at Saweetie’s apartment complex in North Hollywood. ...