Home inspector rapes Elmo doll.  Blog King, Mass Appeal PONTIAC — Kevin Wayne VanLuven was tickled by Elmo. Now he’s behind bars. The 59-year-old home inspector was thrown in the slammer after he forced the Sesame Street character to give him a blow job while on the job. The pornographic ordeal transpired March 12th inside the nursery of a 22-year-old ...

Deshaun Watson facing lawsuits. Blog King, Mass Appeal HOUSTON — It’s not about money. It’s about taking “back the power.” Those are the words of alleged rape victim Ashley Solis who went public with her accusations against Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson. The teary-eyed damsel ratted him out in a press conference Tuesday morning alongside her attorney Tony Buzbee. Using ...

Space Jam trailer doesn’t disappoint.  Blog King, Mass Appeal HOLLYWOOD — After a 25-year hiatus, the cartoon ballers of Looney Tunes are back on the hardwood. Warner Bros. released the first trailer for “Space Jam: A New Legacy” on Saturday that lays out the blueprint of the highly anticipated sequel. The 2-minute clip shows LeBron James experiencing contretemps with his ...

Black men killed Caucasian chick.  Blog King, Mass Appeal MIAMI — Evoire Collier, 21, and Dorian Taylor, 24, had their black asses thrown in jail after they raped and killed a vacationing white woman. The heinous ordeal transpired early Thursday morning around 1 a.m. in Miami during Spring Break. According to police reports, Evoire and Dorian gave 24-year-old Christine Englehardt ...

Watson denying sexual assault.  Blog King, Mass Appeal HOUSTON — It’s been a rough offseason for Houston Texans quarterback Deshaun Watson. First, he asked to be traded. Now he’s being sued for sexual assault. A female masseuse, who’s using the pseudonym “Jane Doe” to remain incognito, claims Watson “went too far” during one of their massage sessions. According to her ...

Les Miles leaves after 2 seasons. Blog King, Mass Appeal LAWRENCE — Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse for the Kansas University Athletic Department. Amid allegations of sexual misconduct, Les Miles is out the door as head football coach of the Kansas Jayhawks. The concupiscent skipper received a pink slip after two losing seasons. The bombshell termination comes ...

Kellen Winslow receives sentence. Blog King, Mass Appeal SAN DIEGO — It’ll be a minute before Kellen Winslow Jr. purloins copulation from female vagrants again. That’s because the former NFL tight end was sentenced to 14 years in prison after copping a plea deal. Kellen, 37, made a virtual appearance in a San Diego courtroom on Wednesday. San Diego County ...

Jaguar Wright lambastes Mary J. Blog King, Mass Appeal DALLAS — R&B singer Jaguar Wright damn near broke the Internet the other day when she posted a tell-all video claiming Mary J. Blige is a closet homosexual. According to Jaguar, Mary was “turned out” by MC Lyte or Queen Latifah. “I can produce my own songs. I can sit down with ...

Cuba Gooding Jr ‘facing’ charges.  Blog King, Mass Appeal NEW YORK — “Show me the… nooky?” Cuba Gooding Jr. is having a difficult time keepin’ his hands and penis to himself. The 52-year-old thespian was slapped with a civil lawsuit on Tuesday from a popsy identified as “Jane Doe” who claims he purloined her vulva seven years ago. The alleged ...

Nicki and Kenny expecting baby. Blog King, Mass Appeal LOS ANGELES — Nicki Minaj is on the cusp of being a mom! The 37-year-old rapper and her husband, Kenneth “Zoo” Petty are expecting their first neonate together. A gravid Nicki shared news of gestation on Monday via Instagram with a photographic album of prenatal snapshots to show off her spherical ...